When the tough get goin’

As much as it hurts to think about this, I’m going to reach out to the electrons in my computer for solace (tragic, isn’t it?).

My youngest son, Nate, is suffering from ITP, a condition resulting in severe bruising (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura)

My youngest son has been diagnosed with a fairly rare blood condition that causes severe bruising (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura). Basically, it’s a poorly understood condition (hence “idiopathic”) wherein the spleen destroys the platelets. His platelet count is so low that any sort of minor bump on the head poses severe risk. So, I’m at home caring for him to the best of my ability. No, the play-doh bucket isn’t functioning as a helmet.

An example photo of the typical brusing with ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura)

I’ve never put a lot of trust in the medical community. But, I will say, I’m thankful for them at this moment in time! Early in the week, we were referred to a childhood cancer clinic, because the symptoms of Nate’s ailment are very similar to leukemia. Turns out that diagnosing ITP is purely a process of elimination…and the diseases they have to eliminate to get to that diagnosis are not pretty. At that clinic, I was struck by the bravery of children afflicted with cancer, and saddened by the hollow, scared look courageously masked by the strength parents must conjure up at times like this. Upon finding out that leukemia had been eliminated, I was so thankful. But I was also aware that such a blessing hadn’t been bestowed on the families in the next rooms over.

As it sits, we’re in a waiting game, hoping that the treatment ($2000 a shot) will counter the platelet loss, pulling Nate of immediate harm’s way, and that this syndrome will work its way out of his system. You see, there is no available cure…

I’m so very thankful to the courageous people at the center, who daily give comfort to the ill children and their families.

Now, I’d love to go off on our lack of nationalized health care. For me, it’s as obvious as asking why a modern nation, governed by free and intelligent people, wouldn’t make universal health care a basic right. But, I’ll save that rant for later, because anger is the last thing we need right now!

So as to get my mind back into the game, I’ll post the following CUKT (comparatively useless knowledge turd):

A competition has been set up to reward the person who can describe and provide evidence that Windows can be booted on the new Apple iMac Duo. Today it is over $10,000.

It’s a Mac Thing: I think I get it.

Cool. I got my iMac last week, and Iâ??ve spent the weekend getting to know it. Itâ??s a really great machine. The Mac OS has come a long way since my last experience with it (back in the OS 8.5 days). Iâ??ve been following it closely ever since leaving it for the Windows camp, but reading about it and using it are two different things. I welcome this move out of the Windows morass!

Iâ??m using the iMac Core Duo, and the great iLife software that comes standard on it, to build this web site. Iâ??m going back in time, posting items from my diary and other defunct blogs as time permits.

Itâ??s interesting to note that there is a great amount of fear regarding Appleâ??s technology. First and foremost, thereâ??s a camp of people who steadfastly refuse to consider buying/using a Mac. In my many conversations with these people, it becomes readily apparent that theyâ??ve never used a Mac. Ever. They have, for all intents, been limited to the Microsoft method of computing. Now, to each his own, but it sure seems to me that before you state an opinion, you ought to have some knowledge of the topic. Otherwise, you become a victim of your own prejudice. Lord knows thatâ??s the cause of a great deal of heartache in the world. If your desktop bigotry leaves you defending a myth….

A friend of mine chastised me for buying the new-model iMac, going so far as announcing to a coworker of mine that I had made a mistake. His point was that no-one in their right mind would buy a new revision of a computer. Whatâ??s obvious is that heâ??s basing his sentiments on trolling the various Mac-faithful forum sites, wherein users report various problems with their computers. It seems to me that these forums are in no way representative of the Macintosh experience; those with problems will seek out a solution by posting to the boards. Plainly thatâ??s human nature. Heck, Marketing 101 taught us is that dissatisfied customers shriek the loudest. I doubt the users who have no problems are posting their experiences there. In a nutshell, to view a companyâ??s offerings based on support forums ignores the other 1,253,900 quarterly buyers who arenâ??t having problems. And finally, itâ??s less than reasonable to suggest that buying a PC from one of the clone assemblers is an experience any safer: Apple consistently beats the pants off other vendors in customer satisfaction.

Fantastic stuff, Apple.

UCCS Meets iMac – Day 2

Day Two has turned out no different than Day One. There’s been a non-stop stream of people stopping by my office, each one walking away impressed as hell with the iMac Duo. Even the die-hard Windows people are taking some time to check out the offerings.

UCCS students Mike and Isaac mug for the built-in camera of the iMacA number of people have been commenting that Macs don’t fit well into the workflow of our College. They’ve variously informed me that Macs wouldn’t interface well with our NT-based file servers, that the Internet would be slower, that VPN was problematic, and that Office documents couldn’t be used. Classic anti-mac sentiments based on misinformation.

Now, given the state of IT on our campus, I would have been within my rights to be a bit nervous. But, I figured, if the Mac can connect and function here, that would be a real testament to its capabilities. It’s kind of like the new kid trying to fit into the established clique, all the while maintaining his authenticity… I usually root for that guy.

So, on Day Two I disproved all of those misinformed assertions. I connected to the file shares — and all parties, including the tech support guys, commented that even though I was using wireless, the file directories appeared much faster than on Windows. I then opened every Word, PowerPoint and Excel document thrown at me, from a number of “interested” parties. Of course, I was able to VPN into the campus network with nary a problem. It just keeps getting better and better.

I then demonstrated to several staff and faculty members how quickly a web site could be built, even using advanced technology typically out of the reach of that audience, such as blogging, photo albums, RSS feeds, and podcasts.

Looks like the Mac may have a place in the College of Business after all.

UCCS meets iMac

Wow. It’s amazing what an impact this little machine is having on the people I work with. It’s been non-stop traffic in my office, located just outside the MBA program suite in the College of Business at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. People are really deeply interested in the alternatives to Windows that are out there. Sure, the iMac is a beautiful piece of hardware to put on your desk, but even more than that, people were really turned on by how tightly integrated the software is on it. UCCS finance instructor Gordon StringerThis guy, a finance instructor, put it well: “The only thing they could do to make it easier is to plug it into my head and let me control it with my thoughts.” He’s bummed because he just purchased a Dell.

I think I’ll leave it here overnight so that I can use it tomorrow at work.

The iMac Arrives

After anxiously enduring shipping delays, buyerâ??s remorse, and all the other events of the week, my new iMac Core Duo arrived this morning. Did I expect it to? No.

It was rescheduled to arrive on Friday the 27th. When I rolled in to work, I checked FedEx.com, and it was on the truck for delivery. Now, usually, FedEx delivers in the early afternoon (1 p.m.-ish), but I had a strange feeling that they would be early. So I immediately bailed, drove home, and no more than ten minutes later I was calling my wife, telling her I had received it. Fantastic. Iâ??m going to bring it in to work tomorrow.

Somebody heard, but is anyone listening?

Wow, the professor in BUAD400 just told me he wants to present my course reflection letter to the Chancellor of the university. Cool.

Several of us in the class agonized over whether to submit papers that honestly reflected how we felt about the course. Kudos to the instructor for taking the heat and stepping up to the plate. Now, if the people on both sides of equations such as this would respond more honestly and employ integrity, we might actually be able to change things. Of course, it remains to be seen what, if anything, comes from atop the tower of babel known as the administration building.

[EDIT: Of interest is that no response from the Chancellor has been received as of my graduation on May 19, 2006. Change starts at the top, and an organization reflects the characteristics of senior management. So as the Chancellor goes, so goes the institution.]

Business Ethics at UCCS

I wrote and submitted the following paper as my final assignment in a course on Business Ethics. The assignment was to write a paper, in the form of a letter to someone who didn’t attend the class, discussing what we got out of the course. For the most part, I detest this sort of assignment because they’re typically fluff and rarely (IMHO) do people really want the raw, honest truth.


BUAD400
Ethics and Stakeholder Management
Course Reflection Letter
December 12, 2005

Christopher Brewer

Melissa,

For so long, I have wanted you to know about my life since you died. I wish these words could find their way to your soul, and that you might know me through them now.

* * * * * * *
Recently I stood, staring out across the broad swath of sea, focused on a freighter no-doubt filled with goods from Asia, cleaving the horizon, awash in a rain squall not yet acquainted with the island. I found myself wondering aloud how I came to this place. Before me lay the great expanse of blue margarita water, teaming with life that I could only have begun to imagine in my National Geographic retardedness. Behind me, an 800 foot waterfall crashed down Hawaii’s Waipio cliffs. Great gusts of mist buffeted me, swirling downward to the young rocks below.

Just a year prior I had escaped my corporate employment, on the advice of your widower. I’d become disillusioned by the greed, dishonesty and narcissistic career-building that I had witnessed around me; a practice I had become a part of. It was a situation typical of the American corporate experience: a scenario claiming the best intentions of good people and turning them into ladder-climbing egocentrics, hell-bent on promotion.

My journey to this island could (and should) be traced back to a time prior to my abandonment of the corporate lifestyle.

You know I married young, at the age of 21, to an equally young and similarly naïve woman. I dreamt of stardom and chased it as a musician. She dreamt of being an artist, but then sold it for an opportunity to prove her love for me by working full-time as a payroll clerk. I didn’t see it that way then. It is only recently that I’ve come to that regrettable conclusion.

I failed pretty miserably as a musician, being a bit too right brained for heavy metal, a bit too impressionable for artistic integrity, and, as it were, a bit too eager to make the next move. My musical career culminated in the birth of my first child, whereupon I summarily quit the band, bought a house, and sought a respectable corporate job.

Fifteen years later, life has come around full circle. I find myself studying daily in the shadow of the building where you drew your last breaths ten years ago. That building, where you died, has changed, like I have. Neither looks anything like we did then. Yet inside, the memories of our past remain.

These days, I work adjacent to that memory, studying business and the various disciplines that make it work. And on Tuesday nights, this past semester, I have studied a topic I wish you and I could have discussed: the ethical responsibilities of business to stakeholders.

Given the experiences that led me to this place and time, I often struggled to bite my tongue, as waves of newly minted capitalists conveniently abandoned the teachings of their savior (beatitudes be damned), demonstrating their ability to justify the enrichment of the few on the backs of the poor. Apparently, Nike’s pursuit of profit absolves it of all but the most heinous forms of exploitation. It was fascinating to watch the oft unnoticed dichotomy of personal versus business ethics go unresolved as the weak-hearted chose the well-worn path that leads to the utterance of the line we’ve all heard: “Nothing personal — It’s just business.”

Do you remember Bhopal? It happened the year you graduated. To this day, people are still suffering from Union Carbide’s decision to operate a plant that failed to meet U.S. safety standards. They got away with it because they were operating in India. Faced with these sorts of cases, I was shocked to hear the opinions of most of my classmates; U.S. companies need only meet local safety requirements. Apparently, what’s good for white America is too good for the brown world. And the main reason given? It all boils down to low prices, Wal-mart style.

As the course progressed, I found myself feeling like a victim of a sham company — one who’d taken my money and disappeared into the night without a trace. Here we were, 100+ students, packed into an echo chamber masquerading as a classroom, studying the responsibility of business to its stakeholders, unable to hear an instructor who knew the environment wouldn’t support the format of the class before it even started. I was there during the summer, when he first got word of the University’s decision to merge multiple sections, including a Master’s class, into one giant free-for-all. As I watched the semester unfold, I realized that this institution had failed, at the most basic levels, to practice the very tenets of business which they so rigorously advocate across the curriculum: continuous improvement, customer-centrism, good faith, and the ethical treatment of stakeholders.

In the final analysis, as I reflect upon this course, I realize I got more out of the experience than I initially thought. I witnessed, first hand, how languid our attempts to right wrongs are, and how proficient we can be at adjusting our moral compass to point to whatever inner north benefits our desire to maintain status quo.

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius speaks eloquently of such practices. It would seem that our business code of ethics has taken a page from Aurelius’ stoics, then applied it in some half-crazed psychotropic manner:

“Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill… I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together…”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book II, Part I

This is NOT to say that I was ever on a concerted journey towards altruism, for I understand ethics must be based on egoism. My direction, most simply described, is the pursuit of happiness; a state wherein I might find equilibrium in my emotional well-being. It is within this framework that I choose to weigh the merits of the actions of myself and others. It is this framework where I define my ethical ethos.

With love, your brother,

Chris

Too afraid to swallow

It had him acting so mad that he was
Too Afraid to Swallow;

His knee pain, literally means, see:
A Single Leg to Stand On;

Swimming so erratically,
He’s Struggling In Classes That Are Nothing To Know

Symptoms last time,
Branded In the Rib Like a Sacrificial Heydey Savior

Her freedom sexually seems like

“The Demons You Helped Seed Have Newfound Meaning for Me”

You know, Like parents spending lives
In Affair after Affair after Affair

Like a Man who Can imagine
What Its Like To Be Cuckholded

Like a Man Who Can Imagine
She Wants More Of It Than Just Him

Like a man, who’s small AND little
defeated from that day on.

So, it’s not that he doesn’t want that for her
It’s a Just a Big Bunch of Pride To Swallow
And Fear and Shame and Sadness in which to Wallow.

Unless, you two kids are truly in love,
And then, in that case,
Act like Abraham and Prepare For The Next Morning.

First glimpse

Staring out across the broad swath of sea, focused on the freighter cleaving the horizon, awash in a rain squall not yet acquainted with the island, I found myself wondering aloud how I came to this place. Before me lay the great expanse of blue margarita water, teaming with life that I could only have begun to imagine in my National Geographic retardedness; behind me, an 800 foot waterfall crashed down the Waiapia cliffs. Great gusts of mist buffeted me, swirling its way to the rocks below.

It was just over a year ago that I left my corporate employment, having become disillusioned by the greed, dishonesty and narcissistic career-building that I had witnessed around me; that I had become a part of. It was a situation, in talking with the many people I have met since, typical of the American corporate experience; a scenario claiming the best intentions of good people and turning them into ladder-climbing egocentrics.

My journey to this island could (and should) be traced back to a time prior to my abandonment of the corporate lifestyle.

I married young, at the age of 21, to an equally young and similarly naïve woman. I dreamt of stardom and chased it as a musician. She dreamt of being an artist, and sold it for an opportunity to prove her love for me by working full-time as a payroll clerk. I didn’t see it that way then. It is only now that I’ve come to that regrettable conclusion. I failed pretty miserably as a musician, being a bit too right brained for Metal, a bit too impressionable for artistic truth, and, as it were, a bit too eager to make the next move. My musical career culminated in the birth of my first child, whereupon I summarily quit the band, bought a house, and sought a respectable corporate job.

This change was monumental, for it spelled the literal death of a youthful dream. Like the biblical character Samson, I cut my hair and soon lost my source of personal power.