Staring out across the broad swath of sea, focused on the freighter cleaving the horizon, awash in a rain squall not yet acquainted with the island, I found myself wondering aloud how I came to this place. Before me lay the great expanse of blue margarita water, teaming with life that I could only have begun to imagine in my National Geographic retardedness; behind me, an 800 foot waterfall crashed down the Waiapia cliffs. Great gusts of mist buffeted me, swirling its way to the rocks below.

It was just over a year ago that I left my corporate employment, having become disillusioned by the greed, dishonesty and narcissistic career-building that I had witnessed around me; that I had become a part of. It was a situation, in talking with the many people I have met since, typical of the American corporate experience; a scenario claiming the best intentions of good people and turning them into ladder-climbing egocentrics.

My journey to this island could (and should) be traced back to a time prior to my abandonment of the corporate lifestyle.

I married young, at the age of 21, to an equally young and similarly naïve woman. I dreamt of stardom and chased it as a musician. She dreamt of being an artist, and sold it for an opportunity to prove her love for me by working full-time as a payroll clerk. I didn’t see it that way then. It is only now that I’ve come to that regrettable conclusion. I failed pretty miserably as a musician, being a bit too right brained for Metal, a bit too impressionable for artistic truth, and, as it were, a bit too eager to make the next move. My musical career culminated in the birth of my first child, whereupon I summarily quit the band, bought a house, and sought a respectable corporate job.

This change was monumental, for it spelled the literal death of a youthful dream. Like the biblical character Samson, I cut my hair and soon lost my source of personal power.

Can’t sleep. This is tougher than I imagined. I think I’m losing it, actually. I haven’t slept well now for about a week.

I’ve sold our home, moved my wife and three kids to a rental home in Colorado Springs. It’s tough on everyone, leaving our home of six years. Right now, I’m not even sure why I’ve done it.

But, Charita (my wife) and I are both enrolled in college full time this semester. Guess that’s why.

I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, you don’t even know the whole story. Or any of it, for that matter.

It started in mid-January, for all intents, when I quit my $75,000 a year job at BearingPoint, an international tech consulting firm. I’d worked there for just over two years, during the thick of the tech downturn. Seems like I’m bragging a bit here, but with purpose — I actually managed to be promoted during this time to Senior Consultant while many at BearingPoint and industry wide endured layoffs. I only bring this up to illustrate that I was a compentent and valuable member of my group, which is an important distinction to make in the context of what happened.

I’ve decided to enroll at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Here’s my letter of application:

I am a 34 year old man on a mission, one half of a husband-wife team intent on changing our lives. Neither my wife nor I have a Bachelor’s degree, and eight years into rearing our three children, we’ve come to understand that living an example is the best method for raising confident, independent, honest children.

There are many reasons upon which I could hinge a letter of application. This one, however, rings truest and matters most.

As a young man, I was full of spit and fire, and was too quick to start my life as an adult, which I equated with drawing a paycheck. I passed up a multitude of educational opportunities that came with being a National Honor Student with ACT scores in the top 3% nationally. I jumped feet-first into life, and my eyes quickly turned away from my earlier goals of obtaining a degree in engineering.

The next 17 years were spent pursuing a number of seemingly unrelated interests, including obtaining two Associate’s Degrees. During this time, I founded and ran several businesses, including a regional entertainment newspaper and an Internet development company. Additionally, I sang professionally in an award-winning original band, and taught technology to children in grades Kindergarten through eighth grade at a local elementary school.

Three years ago I turned my back on this rather Renaissance approach, and began pursuing a career as a UNIX systems administrator in the corporate world. It was during this time, when my creative spirit was kept at bay, that I came to realize the powerful need within me to invent and build. It dawned on me that the very structure of my being is grounded in the quest for knowledge, which serves as the framework for my inventive output.

And so, 17 years later, I find myself at the beginning again. I’ve firmly made the choice to illustrate to my children, to my wife, and to myself that it is never too late to chart one’s own course. I have resigned my position at the company where I was employed, and with this letter, am staking my claim on the knowledge I will gain from attending your university.

Thank you for the opportunity to apply.

Best,

Chris Brewer

Here’s how it all started, with an email to my new direct supervisor and her boss. My new boss was on a tear to build an empire, and had began a systematic process of tearing apart the group, in order to replace my hard-working coworkers with her cronies. How sad: We were a well-oiled machine that had brought our datacenter from the non-perfoming to a top facility. I was her first target. Though I had several years of excellent reviews, winning promotions even amidst the crumbling of the tech revolution and its many layoffs and dismissals, she began an unrelenting attack on my character and skills that lasted three months. Finally, I couldn’t take it any more:

-----Original Message-----
From: Chris Brewer [mailto:xxxxxx@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 14, 2003 8:37 AM
To: xxxxxxxx@bearingpoint.net; xxxxxxxx@bearingpoint.net
Subject: Resignation

My FY03 mid-year performance review contains false statements
and misstatements of fact by manager, [Name Withheld],
which tarnish my reputation and cast doubt upon my character.
Her defamatory accusations are not borne of fact.

[Name Withheld], my Managing Director, has accepted her
review without seeking my input, even though in past reviews
I received high ratings which resulted in a promotion. Ms.
[Name Withheld]'s review contains comments which run directly
counter to my efforts and accomplishments of the past and
present. Ms. [Name Withheld] draws her conclusions from a
total of 3 months with BearingPoint.

No person, regardless of the state of the US economy, should
have to endure unsubstantiated claims and slanderous
allegations by a hostile manager. I therefore have no
alternative than to submit my immediate resignation.

Christopher Brewer